Some unresolved questions about today’s freebie:

My good friend Bob gave me this one a few years ago, knowing as he does that I was born and raised in Ohio.  The question remains, is the shirt a finely crafted piece of sarcasm disguised as a gift?  Let’s examine this more closely.

Ohio is a fine place to grow up, and I have no complaints about it as an environment in which to come of age.  That being said, even Buckeyes like myself rarely refer to it as “paradise.”  Now, that probably owes itself more deeply to the fact that we are stoic, understated people not prone to boasting.  True salt-of-the-Earth types.  But I don’t know if Bob knows that, he’s Canadian.

Secondly, the drawing of the monorail passing in front of what looks like a housing project seems a little less than bucolic.  I freely admit to there being abundance of housing projects in Ohio, and no small number near where I grew up.  But I don’t recall ever seeing a monorail near one, and I’d like to think that I would have noticed.

That’s kind of a wash.  So, let’s examine Bob, and maybe we can divine his motives.

Okay, he’s Canadian, not sure from what city, or even if they have cities there.  Other highly suspect traits:

Lakers fan.

Yankees fan.

Michigan fan. Unforgivable.

Now, I know you’re thinking, “You’re friends with Hitler, and he calls himself ‘Bob’ now?”

Bob is a great guy, a true friend, but I’m guessing that like most immigrants from Canada, he got off the boat to America speaking no English, grew up in an awful neighborhood, and saw a lot of other immigrant Canadians slinging the rock, and wearing their completely cliche’ Lakers jerseys and Yankees hats.  (Even drug dealers wouldn’t be caught dead in Michigan stuff. 3-9?  BWAHAHA!)

I don’t think it’s Bob’s fault, is what I’m saying.  He’s the product of an awful environment, and I’m hoping he’ll outgrow some of his degenerate tastes before he turns 40.

But I still think this shirt is sarcastic.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 14th, 2009 at 5:46 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.